We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize