This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
