I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize