I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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