omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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