Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
