dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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