why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
