She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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