Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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