There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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