I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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