i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
