I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
