you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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