and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
