I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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