At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
