Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
