How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
