dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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