Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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