just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
