Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize