You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At least life still wants to fuck me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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