Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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