So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize