3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
