there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
