But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
