I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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