Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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