It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
