I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it hurts more in the daytime
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
