Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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