I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
