I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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