I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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