I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
