two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Randomize
