Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
