ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
