Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You ate ashes out of my bong
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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