He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
