Cold hands, warm shart.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
