he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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