im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
