so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
