Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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