Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
