By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ttyl tear gas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
