I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
