Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
