i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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