My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
