Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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