No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize