Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
