dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize