i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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