Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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