Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry meeee3 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.

Fav 51 1095 5189
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.

Fav 61 1366 4701
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.

Fav 28 1710 3979
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.

Fav 12 4836 1258
share tweet
(204): View more from Manitoba

Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

Fav 33 1680 3717
share tweet
(228): View more from Mississippi

Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

Fav 10 2093 851
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

Fav 0 906 585
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are

Fav 1 447 186
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?

Fav 0 36 107
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT