I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
