Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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