One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize