he shaved USA in his pubs
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
