I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
