May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize